it was supposed to be so important. And the men were so humble and craving. Why couldn't a girl be queenly, and give the gift of herself? So they had given the gift of themselves, each to the youth with whom she had the most subtle and intimate arguments. The arguments, the discussions were the great thing: the love-making and connexion were only a sort of primitive reversion and a bit of an anti-climax. One was less in love with the boy afterwards, and a little inclined to hate him, as if he had trespassed on one's privacy and inner freedom. For, of course, being a girl, one's whole dignity and meaning in life consisted in the achievement of an absolute, a perfect, a pure and noble freedom. What else did a girl's life mean? To shake off the old and sordid connexions and subjections.

希尔达和康斯坦斯均在18岁时初尝爱情的滋味。和她们热烈交谈，纵情欢唱，在树下自由露营的小伙子们自然会对肌肤之亲充满渴望。女孩们起初犹豫未决，但关于此事，双方已经探讨过多次，均认为它如此重要。况且小伙子们又是如此低声下气地渴求。为什么女孩不能如女王施恩一般，将自己赐予对方呢？于是两人都委身于谈论问题时与自己最为交心，关系最为亲密的少年。高谈阔论，据理力争，才是举足轻重之事，而男女之欢不过是种回归原始的行为，甚至有点扫兴。云雨过后，女孩对男孩的爱意反倒减少了，甚至生出些许怨恨，仿佛是他侵犯了自己的私隐，以及内在的自由。因为身为女子，全部的尊严，以及生存的真谛，都自然在于自由的实现，这种自由无可挑剔，尽善尽美，难觅瑕疵，高贵无比。女子的一生除此之外还有什么意义？是摆脱陈腐的、可鄙的交媾和从属关系。

And however one might sentimentalize it, this sex business was one of the most ancient, sordid connexions and subjections. Poets who glorified it were mostly men. Women had always known there was something better, something higher. And now they knew it more definitely than ever. The beautiful pure freedom of a woman was infinitely more wonderful than any sexual love. The only unfortunate thing was that men lagged so far behind women in the matter. They insisted on the sex thing like dogs.

无论被赋予多少浪漫情怀，性事仍是一种古老的、污秽的交合行为和从属关系。歌颂性爱的诗人多是男子。女子却往往深知，世间还存在着更加美好、更加崇高的事物。而如今，这种信念比以往还要明确许多。对于女人而言，完美纯粹的自由如此令人向往，而这是任何性爱都无法企及的。不过糟糕的是，男人对此事的观念依旧停滞落后。他们对性的强烈需求，与兽类无异。

And a woman had to yield. A man was like a child with his appetites. A woman had to yield him what he wanted, or like a child he would probably turn nasty and flounce away and s